Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
