Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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