I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
