Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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