operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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