this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
