its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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