My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
