help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
