talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
