You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
