Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm sobbing to NWA
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
