That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
foreskin is a definite game changer
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Someone signed my nipple.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
