I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
