i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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