I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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