If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
