Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
