remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
