ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
