we have pet lesbian snakes
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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