sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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