Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
