Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
