Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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