I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize