you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
