i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I look better un-naked...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
