On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
