this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize