Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize