I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
