I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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