she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
