sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I smell like Dick and happiness
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
