"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
