Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we made out on top of his cat.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
