**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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