dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
