I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
