Already got asked if we're dating
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
