just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
