I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
