bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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