is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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