have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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