I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
