I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Fuck appropriateness.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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