absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just forgot I was standing up.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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