This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
