Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize