She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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