he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
