OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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