If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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