I showed him my bush... on skype.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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