I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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