I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
